Coyote EXTREMELY Ugly

So I went to Las Vegas for the first time in my life last week. My best friend moved out there and I finally got the chance to visit and see the strip. During one of our outings, my friend thought it would be a good idea to bring me to one of his favorite bars because the beer was extremely cheap and the hot bartenders dance on the bar singing various Rockabilly songs badly. Sounds fun right? Right.

I'm not a drinker though so I didn't see the point in stopping but I've also never been to a waterin' hole in which the ladies dance around on the bar so I thought I'd indulge my friend and check it out. Just one more experience to check off the ole "Life List".

Again, I'm NOT a drinker. In fact, the last alcoholic beverage I had was a few months ago and I didn't even finish it because it was something I hadn't had before and I wasn't really feelin' it. Now here I am at a biker bar, being handed a 24oz. car of beer after taking a shot of my favorite whiskey. Oh boy....

I won't give the full account of that night but when we first got there I did text one of my other best friends while intoxicated and I find the conversation so amusing I thought I'd at least share that with you. That and I'd like to have a permanent record of it for myself because it makes me giggle, especially my last text before I was completely annihilated for the night. Yes, girlfriend got messy, super, duper, Jersey Shore style messy. It was not pretty. I look back and laugh about it now and tell the story to anyone who will listen but again, not my finest hour for sure.

Here's the conversation. I won't reveal the name of the person I'm texting but at certain times my friend Dave, the one that took me to the bar, does take over and type a few things as well. Mind you, my friend and I are in different time zones and we're texting them in the middle of the night so the conversation ends abruptly because they fell asleep. I am also copying this EXACTLY as it was typed out. Enjoy.

Me: At a biker bar and im going to be forced to dance on the bar. But its cool the bartender is extremely EXTREMELY hottttt
203: Ummmm
Me: Dave will be taking pictures cause hes mean but he isnt gonna post them
203: Good
Me: Seriously you need to see her-sooooo hottttt. Andddd in drunk alreadyyy
Me: This is dave....she is drunk....and the bartender is hottest woman ive ever seen. Thank you and goodnight.
203: Hahaha
203: Goodnight
Me: :( whaaa whaaaaa
Me: whaaaaOmg im soooo drunk
203: Hahhaha
Me: Supid drinks
203: Stay off Facebook!!
Me: Dave again....thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
203: Lol
Me: Whatever that post was funny. C'mon, im in vegas... and its daves fault anyways cause he said i couldnt check in
Me: I had to say something
203: No not at all. Stay off Facebook! You'll regret that in the morning!
Me: Nopeee
Me: I just said that one thing-its cool.
Me: Dave said im buying the next round! The next round!? Im already drunk!
203: Yea but what you said is pretty risque
Me: Hahaha...dave again...shes a fucking mess. She wants me to tell you youre classy...so..uhh...stay classy bro. Class it up. I have no idea.... dude. move to vegas.
Me: Hes a retard fo sho
203: Hahahaha
Me:  :)
203: So classy
Me: Yes hou are baby
Me: I got you a presnet today :)
203: Awwws
Me: I got your uncle an ashtray lol
203: Haha
Me: I got your roommate gum that says. 'Im a dick' hehe
203: Hahha
Me: I spent 70 bucks at the gift shop like no lie. Like 30 on postcards! Im crqzy!
203: Aw
Me: Its cool the postcards are boss!
203: Cool
Me: :)
203: :)
Me: Dave again.... :)
Me: Daves annoyong
203: Haha
Me: Daves making her trip to vegas possible = awesome
203: Heh
Me: Daves a retardl he dong pay me. My job made my trip possible. I fucking love my job
203: Aw
Me: Dude. I'm ending this by no longer participating. Goodnight. Hahaha
Me: He sp lame...for reals
203: Haha
Me: My limbs dont work i swear to god
203: Awww
Me: Holu fuck drunkest oive ever ben ever, Im typing decent tohugh for reals
203: Kinda
203: Haha
Me: :) so great :) i hate dave for getti g me all drunk thoughs
203: Don't hate
Me: Omg youre so awesome even when im retard drunk are you honestly qjestioning why i love you so goddamn much? Fuck" youre amazing!;
Me: Holy fuck im the du0runkest ever roght now and they instpist on playing country. Like fuck you

Hope you find this as amusing as I do. If not, sorry for wasting your time. But hey the blog's called "I Like It" for a reason. Also, sorry for using "retard" so often, I've been working on that, but obviously not thinking about it when I was drunk as a skunk. Seriously though that last line just kills me! Ha!