So I've been driving Joe crazy for the past month playing the same five songs over and over again. I purposely listen to the radio each morning because I know at one point during my commute, the DJs will play each one of them. Joe put them all on my Zune so I could listen to them whenever the mood strikes and still-still! I must listen to them over and over!
Well, I was in a good mood last night so I decided to YouTube each video for the songs I've been bopping to and see what's new in music video land since MTV and VH1 have all but abandoned the concept from which they were created, and never actually play videos anymore. (Mind you, this is coming from the chick that DVRs EVERY reality show said channels have on)
Well let me just say, as much as I love the songs, I do not like the videos.
Strike that. I like the videos. I don't like the fact that everyone seems to be selling out to a sponsor these days. Personally, I think this all started when the Pussy Cat Dolls released this video featuring an MP3 player (no one bought) that boasted a giant slide-out speaker thingy... Take a look:
Now I can't say this was the first music video that ever did something like this, but it was certainly the first one I can recall be so blatantly obvious about it. I even remember being disgusted by it a hand full of years ago when it first debuted. But these days you can't bop along to any video on tv without having some kind of ad forced upon you. And none of it makes any damned sense! At least with the Pussy Cat Dolls, the MP3 player (again no one bought) they were hawking had a speaker they could listen to their songs from, that I kind of get. But does someone want to explain to me why an alien landing on Earth at the end of time/birth of the future is putting on sunglasses? No really, someone please tell me.
I'm surprised Kanye's gold teeth didn't have Adidas stamped across them too! (No offense Yeezy-you do you boo) But do you people see what I'm talking about? Not only was is unnecessary-they poorly photo-shopped the Vogue brand name on the damned glasses just to ad insult to injury. Like...wait-was that Katy Perry's new hit or, Vogue's new ad featuring Katy Perry's new hit? Cause ya'll just lost me.....
And let's talk about JLo for a minute. Girl is her own brand name-what does she need sponsorship in a video for? Now, if you haven't heard this song let me just say-yes, I know its repetitive and almost as poorly written as some of Britney's latest tracks, but dammit I cannot help myself. Especially the intro when my girl's all
"Let me introduce you (thump thump thump) to my party people (thump thump thump) in da cluuubb..."
Gets me everytime!
But really-what does Swarovski have to do with anything?! Especially considering you never see the damned earrings again until the video's half over. And Crown Royal? Really JLo? Really?? Cause I'm going to believe you'd be strewn across a chaise lounge dressed like an empress and sipping on some CR. Umm, righttttt....
(on a side note-real impressed with myself for spelling Swarovski right-thank you, thank you)
And Pitbull (yes he's in two of these videos) I am falling in love with you, I am. You are one hella-fine bald man and your voice is pretty smooth but seriously-why are you doing this to your videos? And I'm not even going to talk about the Hot Topic throw backs T Pain is wearing-give me a break....
Now while I was typing about this video it occurred to me I couldn't remember where the product placement was in this one. So I watched again. I'm happy to say (if you didn't take the time to check it out) there isn't any! Good for you Pitbull! Granted, being in JLo's video that featured two of them still more then makes up for not having something in this one. Just sayin'...
Now for Mr. Iglesias (I still cannot spell his name right for the life of me)... First off-I've been a stanch hater of Enriques for quite some time now. I never liked his songs, never liked his videos and certainly didn't get why his creepy mole got so much damned attention (RIP Enrique's mole-so glad you didn't give the man cancer) But lately his songs have been getting to me. They haven't won me over by any means, but I'm glad the radio station I listen to plays his stuff and not that horrible "I got anger issues" Chris Brown's stuff. No thank you.
The one thing Enrique consistently does that irks me however, is get his "sexy"-and I use that term loosely but still get the shivers when saying that in reference to him-on. No one wants to see you get all hot and sweaty with some waif of a girl. Especially multiples of them. Just gross. And I think it always backfires with him anyway. If you watch, all he's really doing is trying to have a sexy-off (blarg) with these
actresses ladies. He's just arrogant. I mean his song is about getting with a hot chick "Tonight" as in one night stand, "hey what's your name? oh nevermind, don't care, you'll be gone in the morning" Just ewwy. I'm sorry E.I., no, just no. Nothing remotely sexy about it. But anyways, product placement. Yet another video hawking booze. This I do not like. Your fans and your targeted demographic have enough shit going on in their lives, they don't need their idols and current "it" stars promoting drinking. Ludacris...you know better.
And you know what, if you're going to bother with throwing in some sponsorship, at least be sure your viewers can make out the label. There's nothing I hate more then having something thrown in my face and still not being able to Google what the hell it is later on when I feel like ranting to Joe about it. Help me out here.
This last song really drives Joe insane. It bothers me that I like it too. But Ke$ha did it damn her. She "won" me over. Well, not really. I still don't approve of the fact that she makes millions singing like she's drunk and then spends said millions on clothes that look like they haven't been washed in years. What is the world coming to. But, like Pitbull, her super catchy song comes complete with a sidekick and NO product placement.
I was going to give her the win because her video had James Van Der Beek (where've you been homie?!) acting hilarious, unicorns and shoes with guns on them. But the unicorns look like crap and she ends up killing some of them anyways and that's just no okay with me. Again, if ya'll know me, you know Unicorns are my favorite mythical creature. I straight up weeped when Voldemort killed one in Harry Potter. Not okay Ke$ha.
Pitbull wins!! (sorta)